The New Old

I’m an Alabama girl, and most people globally find that to be indicative of a person being, well, “country”.  Its fairly common to hear of people’s notions of Alabama residents to still use outhouses and withstand the pleasures of running water. However, it’s not that way much anymore, and frankly I grew up in the city. I don’t listen to Country music. I like Rock, Metal and Punk. I live in the suburbs of a culturally diverse city, I work on computers for a living and play classical music on the piano. I’m just not that typical “Alabama” country girl that folks outside of the Deep South would expect to find.  And in all honesty, for most of my life I have rejected all notions of anything that indicates the rural life. I did grow up visiting “the country” a lot from both my Mom and Dad’s family. My Mom was raised in the city, but her parents moved to a small town in their older age and lived on the land. My father was raised in the same small town, out on old dirt roads and long lazy rivers. I just didn’t appreciate it as a younger adult. I still reject the notion of being a red neck, however I’m learning that there is a lot to admire about country living, and most of all, is the way of life.

We live in a world now where we can’t trust the food we eat to be free of poison; we can’t buy clothes to wear without putting money in the hands of a communist nation; we can’t trust our government to make decisions based on the people’s wishes. We are inundated with advertisements to tell us what drugs to take for all of our ailments, and actors telling us that we need to get out and walk around and move every once in a while.  I’m getting sick of it.  I think we’re all tired of the way things are going. So without getting into the politics and religion of the ways of the world, its time to make our own changes for ourselves.

It’s a new year coming, which brings us all to a place to review where we’ve been and where we’re going. Let’s make a conscious effort to change some of our ways of life to the old ways. I’ll be posting different changes we can make to get back to those old ways in a new light. A lot of us are already doing that, and there are new options we can all learn. My hope is that in my process of this search I will better myself and my family, and learn from others what they are doing as well.

Here’s to a new year!

Summer, Summer, Where Art Thou?

  Its been a really depressing the last several weeks weeks. For the first time in 14 years I’ve had the opportunity to spend the summer with my girls. As busy as I’ve been as a working Mom, I guess it didn’t occur to me how busy I’d be staying at home. And the kids, Good LORD, the kids schedules are insane. Yes, I knew this. I’ve juggled it all while working in an office all day, but this summer has been slam packed with camps, trips with their friends, overnight gatherings, and practices. I mean, what happened to summer??? My husband and I frequently speak of the days, way back when (when we had to walk up hill barefooted in the snow , before the time of horse drawn carriages), we had three month summers. Yes, you heard me correctly, THREE MONTHS! We didn’t go back to school until the week of LABOR DAY!  I know, you guys are with me on this one. It was awesome!  The last day of school was a real celebration because we knew we were about to get…to get…(are you ready)…a BREAK! And what a break it was.  I have really fond memories of my summers at home. We walked the neighborhood daily with friends, walked to the creek by the school or the pond by the library. My friends and I lived close enough to visit each others houses and hang out all day if we wanted. And if I had nothing to do with my buddies, I got to watch re-runs on television that I otherwise would have never been exposed to. I loved black and white movies, and old shows like Flipper, the Monkeys, and Perry Mason. And when else would I have the chance to eat Little Debbies and drink sweet tea all day. I mean, I was a skinny little kid. That calorie intake probably saved my life! (Ah, those were the days!)

 And now my kids have started school in mid-August and I’m looking back and thinking, where the heck did the time go? What about all that scrapbooking we were going to do? What about all the artwork, painting, and swimming we were going to do? What about the trips to the beach, leisure time? Well we did manage to work in a few things together, and I’m glad we at least got that much in. And just as well,  we got to spend time together we haven’t had in a really long time.  Now that our relaxing carefree summer is over, I’ll have time to write about the things I DID get to do the last few months. And the kids, well the kids are in full swing. Not that they know the difference. So here’s to you, summer of the past. We miss you!

To Two-Piece or Not To Two-Piece

  I recently attended a lake gathering on the second of, what we all hope to be, an annual lake weekend getaway for a group of old high school friends. The company is usually mixed, but most of the adults are in the 39-41 year old range. The weekend usually consists of alot of swimming and socializing, and this is a hot Alabama summer for sure.  Several of us went for a  cool-down dip from the 90 degree weather into the 89 degree lake water when a male friend had just taken a seat on the dock, and I emerged the lake donning my tankini bathing suit. He proceeded to comment on my granny suit, of course just ribbing me for fun and I took no offense, ribbing him back about something-or-another. After my other girl buddies got ready to swim, he noticed I wasn’t the only one brazing around in the ever-popular tankini (not a granny one piece, but not the dreaded bikini we were avoiding).  It got me to thinking…what is the requirement to avoid the bikini, and move on to more ‘mature’ choices? Are we really romping around looking like grannies? In looking at it from another view, lets say my 25 year old self from the past, is this tankini suit something I see my Grandmother wearing? And HOW old am I???  And so the question burns in my mind, to two-piece or not to two-piece? What exactly is the criteria, or shall I say, limitations, of swaggering around in a bikini in public? (backyards with privacy fences don’t count!)

 I’m now 40 years old and 15- 20 pounds overweight. In my mind this means no way Jose! The bikini is out of the question. Too many kids, too little muscle. However, in hanging out this summer and swimming in public locations I’m finding that freedom rings. More and more women are strutting their stuff and couldn’t give a hoot. I guess having a little more in the middle outweighs the risk of sashying around the pool looking like Betty White. And when I see this, I think to myself “Hey, you know what? I can do this too, I can be free! I can pull this off!” And then an 18 year old 105 lb tanned two-piecer walks by. Its not her fault, but it completely ruins it for me and makes me clutch onto my granny suit with enthusiasm. And then there are those that have the opinion, like my brother, that to wear a two-piece you must be a sports illustrated model or be under the age of 22 (and under the weight of 122).

 So what is the consensus on this? I mean hippies paved the way for us to show our stuff. At middle age and little over-weight, should we be free to reveal the mid-section? Or is this an atrocity and violation to the general public?

Frankly I would love to get my white abs tan. Tan fat is better than white fat, right?

The World According to Joe

I recently embarked on an 8 day journey to Europe with my Mom including a 2 day trip to Rome, Italy before heading home. On my flight back to the States from Rome (Mom stayed in Europe a week so I was traveling alone) I was lucky enough to get a window seat.  It’s the best place to sleep on a plane, and after we boarded no one sat next to me. I was ecstatic, a window seat AND I can stretch out on two seats, SCORE! But within a few minutes an older Italian man was escorted to my neighboring seat, late getting on the plane for reasons I wasn’t sure. As it turns out, he was one of the best travel partners (besides my Mom) I’ve had on this trip. His name was Joe, a Sicilian Italian who moved to the US for work when he was a “good looking  young man”. He proceeded to take me under his wing, like he would a daughter. I was immediately interested in what he had to say, since I had just come from Italy and this was my first chance to really talk to a local. And, besides, he spoke great English, which made it an added bonus.  Joe was full of advice and was eager to share his life experiences with me. I soaked it up like a sponge. Here is some of the advice Joe shared with me on our journey from Rome to Detroit:

Americans don’t know how lucky they are. They are blessed, there’s little hunger and tons of opportunity.  Even in a bad economy you can get a job somewhere. And according to Joe, any job is better than no job.  No job is beneath anyone, and it will carry over until you find something else. He made a living working in a factory, saved all his overtime checks, and now owns two homes, one in Michigan and one in Sicily. He travels when he wants, and goes back and forth between his two countries when he wants.

We have an advantage in the US if we speak English, and even more so if we have some training in a trade. Joe didn’t have it, and moved here with no English and no trade, and he was still successful. He put his mind to change it, and he did. He talked to English speaking people as much as possible and practiced until he could communicate. He got a job and learned the trade on the job, and stuck with it.

Spend time with your parents while you can. One day, when they have aged and don’t have a clear mind, they will know in their heart that you are there for them. It gives them peace.

Don’t spoil your kids.  Don’t be afraid to tell them no, and if you do, stick to it no matter what. They’re not your friends, you are their parent. They’ll thank you later.

Don’t spend more than you make, spend less. Save the rest. You’ll be successful later. If you don’t spend it and budget for less, you won’t ever know it’s there to spend. And teach your kids the same thing. Like Joe said, ask your kids when their whining about wanting a new dress “is it necessary? Do you need the new dress? Are you tossing out the one you bought last week? No, I donta thinka so”. 

“Eata fresha vegetables”.  Not that processed crap. Fresh bread, fresh veggies, and make your own food. It tastes better and is good for you. Water is important, drink it and don’t drink it with ice. It flows through the system easier and cleanses the blood.  Drink hard liquor slowly when you have a cold/throat problem. It will kill the bacteria. If you have kidney problems drink Rose Tea from Germany. And eat tomatoes (not surprising coming from an Italian?).  They’re good for you.

For your daughters: Save yourself for the one you’re marrying. The boys will be tempting, but if you give yourself away to the first guy you love, what are you gonna give the real love that will come for you in the future, the one you’ll marry? Seconds? No, you need to wait.

Let your children make mistakes, it’s the only way they’ll learn for themselves. If you coddle them and protect them all their lives they’ll never learn how to stand on their own two feet.  

I guess one of the reasons Joe appealed to me so much was not only that I made an instant friend, but because his wisdom reminded me so much of my own father. If my Dad were to spill out this much advice in one sitting, I think he would sound very much the same (accept the hard liquor remedy – he’d tell me just to take a Sudafed).  I found out later why Joe was on the plane late. As we landed and we were saying our goodbyes, he said “I’ll let you go ahead and get your things. I have to wait on my wheelchair.  I can only walk short distances”.  It struck me.  So full of life, so thankful for his adopted country, and his family. He has survived a broken heart through divorce, grown children, marrying off his youngest daughter, starting  anew in a foreign country with no family, and made the best of his life, and still does. Even in a wheelchair.

Our First City Summer Adventure - The Rickwood Classic

  Not being a big baseball fan, but a huge fan of Birmingham, I’ve pined to see the Rickwood Classic for several years now with no means to do so. Fortunately for me and my newly acquired status as an unemployed person with free time on my hands, and being blessed with free tickets to the event, I was able to make it this year with no disappointment.

   My mother grew up in Birmingham city as a young girl, as did my grandmother. As I’ve grown, and also a resident of the city, I’ve heard magnificent stories of Birmingham’s history.  Tales of days gone by downtown, malt shops and hat shops, theater districts and the like, have been told to me since childhood. I love the see pictures of old Birmingham because of our family history and a love of this historic city. I think that’s where the appeal of the Rickwood classic came into play for me, personally. I looked forward to catching a glimpse of the days gone by that I’ve heard so much about. I’m not a baseball fan, and after 40 years of existence I’m just now getting into sports at all, but I’m one of those types that any live sporting event is really exciting. I learned a few weeks ago that I had access to tickets to the event, given that I just lost my 15 year job I’ve been tightening the belt a bit so the timing was perfect.

    On Wednesday June 1, 2011, My two daughters and I, along with two of their friends (those of you with kids understand the importance of a buddy to trim down on the boring factor), embarked on a journey through a once-very different section of Birmingham to Rickwood field.  The surrounding area leaves much to be desired, and is quite sad knowing what it “used to be like”, but then there stands the gem of the neighborhood. A baseball field trapped in time. The avocado green building and the old Rickwood Field sign above excited me. As we entered we saw a young boy in a vintage baseball cap and shorts selling newspapers for .10 cents, hollering “Get your paper here, Rickwood paper!”. Beside him was a beautiful early model Ford truck in candy-apple red. We felt zipped back in time, and even my teenage daughters were impressed. As we walked through the ticket window and entrance we were greeted with a smile and purchased traditional baseball score cards. I had no idea what to do with it, but its print was in the 1961 style, old adverts included, so I picked one up. As we continued into the entrance we saw the chalk board roster of all the players, and surrounding it are the pictures and articles of past players. People were gathered here making a list of players and learning some history of the park. Thousands of spectators were crowding in, so my MO at that point was getting a hot dog for the game, and what a hot dog it was! I wasn’t disappointed. I love hot dogs, and usually vendor hot dogs wrapped in aluminum foil make for a snack that merely satisfies to kill extreme hunger. Not this one, it was delicious! And rightfully so, at $4 a pop. I grabbed some nachos and cheese, enough to feed several in one serving, and we scampered through the crowd to find some seats. We were all so thrilled to see the old signage in the park. Advertisements from an older era adorn the field, separated by the old score board that is still manually operated. No really, you can see the people up there behind it putting up the scores!  The game started after being sung in by a jazz band, and the Birmingham Barons, in 1961 vintage blue and grey (they now wear black and white) and their opponents, The Chattanooga Lookouts in white, began a crowd pleasing baseball game. Kids and adults alike scrambled for foul balls, some going into the season holders sections and others rolling off of the famous Rickwood awning that covers most of the stadium seating. You could hear the loud THUD when a ball hit the awning, and a neighboring fan leaned over to me and said “You know you’ve been to a Rickwood game when you hear the thud on the roof!”  I won’t go into the stats, however I will say this…a tie in the 9^th, and in the 11^th inning our Barons knocked it out of the park for the winning score. The crowd went wild with a 4-3 victory!

   After the game the field was quickly occupied by enthusiasts and starry-eyed kids, walking the historic beautiful greens, tossing baseballs and taking pictures. Others were crowded around their favorite Baron’s team getting autographs.  Even for an ignorant sports fan such as myself, it was easy to see why this is America’s favorite pastime. This, coupled with the preservation of a Birmingham icon of Rickwood, made for a perfect day. . It couldn’t have been better!