The World According to Joe

I recently embarked on an 8 day journey to Europe with my Mom including a 2 day trip to Rome, Italy before heading home. On my flight back to the States from Rome (Mom stayed in Europe a week so I was traveling alone) I was lucky enough to get a window seat.  It’s the best place to sleep on a plane, and after we boarded no one sat next to me. I was ecstatic, a window seat AND I can stretch out on two seats, SCORE! But within a few minutes an older Italian man was escorted to my neighboring seat, late getting on the plane for reasons I wasn’t sure. As it turns out, he was one of the best travel partners (besides my Mom) I’ve had on this trip. His name was Joe, a Sicilian Italian who moved to the US for work when he was a “good looking  young man”. He proceeded to take me under his wing, like he would a daughter. I was immediately interested in what he had to say, since I had just come from Italy and this was my first chance to really talk to a local. And, besides, he spoke great English, which made it an added bonus.  Joe was full of advice and was eager to share his life experiences with me. I soaked it up like a sponge. Here is some of the advice Joe shared with me on our journey from Rome to Detroit:

Americans don’t know how lucky they are. They are blessed, there’s little hunger and tons of opportunity.  Even in a bad economy you can get a job somewhere. And according to Joe, any job is better than no job.  No job is beneath anyone, and it will carry over until you find something else. He made a living working in a factory, saved all his overtime checks, and now owns two homes, one in Michigan and one in Sicily. He travels when he wants, and goes back and forth between his two countries when he wants.

We have an advantage in the US if we speak English, and even more so if we have some training in a trade. Joe didn’t have it, and moved here with no English and no trade, and he was still successful. He put his mind to change it, and he did. He talked to English speaking people as much as possible and practiced until he could communicate. He got a job and learned the trade on the job, and stuck with it.

Spend time with your parents while you can. One day, when they have aged and don’t have a clear mind, they will know in their heart that you are there for them. It gives them peace.

Don’t spoil your kids.  Don’t be afraid to tell them no, and if you do, stick to it no matter what. They’re not your friends, you are their parent. They’ll thank you later.

Don’t spend more than you make, spend less. Save the rest. You’ll be successful later. If you don’t spend it and budget for less, you won’t ever know it’s there to spend. And teach your kids the same thing. Like Joe said, ask your kids when their whining about wanting a new dress “is it necessary? Do you need the new dress? Are you tossing out the one you bought last week? No, I donta thinka so”. 

“Eata fresha vegetables”.  Not that processed crap. Fresh bread, fresh veggies, and make your own food. It tastes better and is good for you. Water is important, drink it and don’t drink it with ice. It flows through the system easier and cleanses the blood.  Drink hard liquor slowly when you have a cold/throat problem. It will kill the bacteria. If you have kidney problems drink Rose Tea from Germany. And eat tomatoes (not surprising coming from an Italian?).  They’re good for you.

For your daughters: Save yourself for the one you’re marrying. The boys will be tempting, but if you give yourself away to the first guy you love, what are you gonna give the real love that will come for you in the future, the one you’ll marry? Seconds? No, you need to wait.

Let your children make mistakes, it’s the only way they’ll learn for themselves. If you coddle them and protect them all their lives they’ll never learn how to stand on their own two feet.  

I guess one of the reasons Joe appealed to me so much was not only that I made an instant friend, but because his wisdom reminded me so much of my own father. If my Dad were to spill out this much advice in one sitting, I think he would sound very much the same (accept the hard liquor remedy – he’d tell me just to take a Sudafed).  I found out later why Joe was on the plane late. As we landed and we were saying our goodbyes, he said “I’ll let you go ahead and get your things. I have to wait on my wheelchair.  I can only walk short distances”.  It struck me.  So full of life, so thankful for his adopted country, and his family. He has survived a broken heart through divorce, grown children, marrying off his youngest daughter, starting  anew in a foreign country with no family, and made the best of his life, and still does. Even in a wheelchair.